


I Couldn't Move and All I Could Feel

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Post-Canon, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 12:22:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6854476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The rigors of this Administration have left me numb."</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Couldn't Move and All I Could Feel

**Author's Note:**

> This story is loosely based on the Reba McEntire song And Still. This is what happens when you smoke too many cigarettes, have a bad day at work, and listen to country music. I love CJ and Leo but I decided to take them somewhere they had never been.

"Excuse me; didn’t I used to know you?"

CJ stopped dead in her tracks, afraid to turn around. People walked around her on the busy street, and she held her cell phone frozen to her ear.

"I have to call you back." She said before flipping it closed.

Turning, she smiled at him and prayed he did not hear her heart pounding in her chest.

"Leo." His name came from her like a sigh.

_Thousands of people live in this town  
And I had to run into him._

"I'm sorry." She shook her head. "Is it Mr. Undersecretary now?"

"I turned down President Vinick’s offer. Undersecretary of Defense is a big deal, particularly for a lifelong Democrat in a Republican White House, but honestly, I was tired. It was time to get out while I still have some life to enjoy. Is it Mrs. Concannon now?"

He went to hug her but CJ held out her hands. Leo seemed taken aback.

"Danny and I…we didn’t make it."

"The last time I heard you were pregnant and living happily ever after in Orange County."

"Berkeley and we didn’t make it."

Leo nodded, deciding to leave it there. He slid his arms around her; CJ’s body molded to his and it felt as if time stood still. She closed her eyes and when she opened them again, everything moved in slow motion. Taking a deep inhale, the Drakkar Noir he wore still tickled her nose. Instinctually, CJ stroked the nape of his neck. Leo’s arms tightened around her.

 _When I saw him there on that busy street  
Those feelings came back again_.

"I didn’t know if I was ever going to see you again." Leo said as they finally came apart. "I wanted to call but of all of us you were the one so desperate to be away from this. I respected it even though I hated it."

"The Library dedication is in 6 weeks…you would have seen me." She replied.

"What are you doing in DC? Are you staying at this hotel?"

They were standing outside of the King George on a beautiful Friday morning. It was mid-July and though hotter than hell, there was a fragrant breeze coming off the Potomac as the smell of cherry blossoms filled the air. Congress was not in session and there were not as many people hustling around as usual. When it was like this CJ wondered why she ever left in the first place.

"Hogan is getting married in a week."

"Hogan, my God, is she old enough?"

"That’s what I thought too, but she is 25 Leo. God, saying that makes me feel old."

"Don’t talk about old Claudia Jean…I have a grandson."

"Mallory? Oh Leo, that is so wonderful. Congratulations." She squeezed his hand.

Tired of having to move every time another tourist came by, Leo took gentle hold of CJ’s arm and moved her over under the awning. He finally just walked her into the lobby.

"How long are you going to be in the city?" he asked.

"I don’t know. Things are uh, up in the air right now."

Leo wanted to know if she was alright. As long as he had known CJ Cregg, things were never up in the air.

"I'm fine. Really Leo, please don’t worry about me."

_There was nowhere to run; nowhere to hide  
He walked up to me and looked in my eyes._

"I can't help that." he said.

"Try, OK? I'm fine."

"Let me buy you breakfast; I would love to catch up." Leo looked at his watch. "OK, brunch."

"I have to meet Nora. I didn’t think…"

"Dinner then. Appetizers, cocktails, whatever you want. Do you still appreciate the food at the Watergate Hotel?"

"Leo McGarry, do not tell me that you still live in a hotel. What is the matter…?"

She could not even finish her sentence. The man had been living in the penthouse suite of that hotel since he and Jenny split up over a decade ago. It was certainly one of the nicest places CJ had ever seen, but it could not possible be home.

"I do. It is clean, affordable, and I have not gotten a better offer. Have dinner with me tonight and let me know what is happening with you."

"What stopped you from calling?" she asked. "I haven’t heard from you in three years."

"You seemed to know about the defense offer." He replied.

"Please, between the spin boys and Charlie I get all the Washington info whether I want it or not. It would have been nice to hear from you."

"Why didn’t you call me Claudia Jean?"

"I don’t think we should have this conversation." She whispered.

"Sit down and have dinner with me tonight. We can talk about whatever we want, or don’t want, then."

She was in his arms again and CJ found it difficult to breathe. It took her back to that last morning they made love, January 21, 2006.

" _I'm going back to California." She said._

_CJ didn’t look at him when she said it and he barely understood her with her face buried in his bare chest._

_"Repeat that."_

_"I got an offer from a San Francisco PR firm. I was not going to take it but I need to…I don’t know."_

_"OK."_

_"Danny is going to come with me; we are going to give it a real try."_

_"You spent the night with me and now you say you are going to San Francisco with Danny Concannon?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"CJ…"_

_"Don’t try to talk me out of it. Leo, it wouldn’t work; it hasn’t worked for eight years. I need stability and Danny wants to give it to me."_

_"Does Danny love you?" he asked._

_"You know that he always has."_

_"Well, do you love him?"_

_"I could. I don’t feel anything right now. The rigors of this Administration have left me numb."_

_"You weren’t numb making love to me last night."_

_CJ got up from her the bed, grabbing the tee shirt Leo took off her last night. He took hold of her wrist, tried to stop her from running away from him again. She had been running from him too long._

_"Why would you want to go like this CJ? You're not sure if you love him but you know you love me."_

_"What would you have me do? Sometimes we need more than the feelings. Goodbye Leo."_

_"You're breaking my heart." He said as she dressed quickly and walked out of his life for the last time_.

"I have to meet Nora."

She extracted herself from his embrace and smoothed out her peach sundress. Leo could not stop looking at her. Three years had only made her more beautiful. The stress she felt when she was made White House Chief of Staff was gone from her face. Her bright blue eyes were clear and she sported a slight California tan that brought out her freckles. CJ was fit, toned, and looked as if life had been very good to her. He wondered how he looked to her.

"How about tomorrow? I can meet you at 8." She said.

He couldn’t help but smile like an eager suitor. She hadn’t said no…it was a good start. Leo honestly expected to be turned down.

"Yeah. I cannot say enough how wonderful it is to see you."

Smiling and squeezing his hand, CJ rushed out of the hotel lobby and onto the busy sidewalk.

 _And still, the world stood still  
I couldn’t move and all I could feel  
Was this aching in my heart saying  
I loved him still_.

***

Nora and CJ sat in DC Coast over a light lunch. The former Press Secretary was quiet.

"What’s the matter?" Nora asked. "You were fine when we talked this morning."

"I ran into Leo outside the hotel."

"You saw Leo?"

"Yeah. I was on my cell phone and he just walked up to me."

"Wow. I haven’t seen him in a few months. He and Toby like to get together for poker with the boys or games of chess on Sundays."

Toby was working as Communications Director for the Democratic National Committee. He was not overly fond of the job and was considering only one more year before he would take a teaching job in the American University Political Science Department. Nora was the Chief of Staff for Senator Eleanor Parkins of Rhode Island. She was the new darling of the Democratic party and was ready to make both waves and changes on the Hill. CJ’s best friends told her there were plenty of political jobs to be had right now, with the reelection just a couple of months away. Vinick was still popular but his Democratic opponent, Senator Gregory Edwards of Illinois, was picking up a lot of steam with young people and minorities.

"How is he?" CJ asked of Leo.

"You know he keeps those kinds of things close to the cuff…Toby might know. I know he is semi-retired. He does speaking engagements and some consulting work. Everyone in the party still wants him to help on campaigns and there is a rumor circulating that he may be hosting a show on CNN or MSNBC in the near future. The last time he had lunch with Sam he joked that Fox News was courting him. This town will never cease to love and respect him."

"Yeah. I agreed to have dinner with him tomorrow night."

"Good. I think you need to spend some time with the people who love you the most. This past year has not been your best."

"I'm fine." CJ replied.

"Uh huh, tell that lie to someone who believes it. You moved out of our place and now you are staying in a hotel. You call that fine."

"Nora, I love you and Toby but you have three small children. I am used to my peace and quiet; I could hardly take it. I love my godchildren, but I will love them more on Saturday visits."

Nora smiled, sipping her mimosa. She was so glad to have CJ back; if she and Toby had any say she would be staying in DC for the duration.

"What convinced you to have dinner with Leo?"

"He asked me to brunch but I told him I was meeting you. I just…so often, particularly lately, I miss him so much. I just keep thinking, what if, you know. I didn’t want to look desperate so I held out until tomorrow."

"There is still time."

CJ shook her head. She had missed her opportunity. It probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. There was no doubt, amongst the principal players involved, that CJ and Leo were in love. However, jobs, obligations, secrets, the Vice-Presidency…so much kept them apart. Each time over the course of 8 years when they finally thought it might work, a bomb blew it all to hell. Leaving him was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. She cried all the way to San Francisco and for nearly a month, she didn’t let Danny touch her.

The Administration was over, this could have been their chance. Still, something told her to run. CJ could not stand the thought of getting hurt anymore. Especially since his allegiance to Jed Bartlet was not going to be an excuse anymore. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be, that was how she consoled herself. It was proximity, and a mutual need to release tension and pain. They may have been mistaking it for love all this time. Better to leave before he realized it too.

"I'm forty three years old, and we will not even get into how old Leo is. If we can salvage a friendship from all of this mess, I would be happy with that. Anyway, I still don't know if I'm staying in DC."

"You're staying. Josh, Charlie, Sam, and Toby are not letting you go. Josh stole your passport anyway."

"He did? I have been looking all over for it. I can't believe he stole my passport."

"Some of the worse times in all of our lives happened right here, but didn’t some of the best? This is family CJ, and we love you and need you. Don’t run from us anymore."

"Would it be silly if I admitted to being nervous?" CJ asked.

"About what?"

"Leo."

"No. You love him."

"Loved." CJ corrected.

"You love him CJ. It might have been past tense if you would have stayed here and worked through the issue."

"Yeah thanks. Remind me why we are friends again?"

Nora smiled, reaching for CJ’s hand.

"Don’t push yourself concerning any of this. First, Leo is a good friend. Look at it like that."

She nodded, though all that ran through her mind was how good he looked in that suit. He looked so healthy, so stress free. His smile; it was refreshing to see that smile. The man was beautiful, and three years, countless miles, and all of the mess she had been through had not changed a damn thing.

***

Leo towel dried his hair, dropping the towel on the floor before climbing into bed. It was after midnight and all day the run-in with CJ played in his mind. Had she been happy to see him at all? Had she been happy? He was so good at reading her and found that no matter how many times he went over it, she had been unreadable in the lobby of that hotel. He wanted to know what had happened to her the three and half years they were separated, though it was certainly not his place to ask.

Across town, CJ slipped under the covers of her king-sized bed and sighed. Nothing had changed…how could nothing had changed. He still looked at her as he did when she walked out of the pressroom or after an intense round of lovemaking, as if she were the most precious thing on the planet. How could he still care after she ran out on him? She flipped the light out and contemplated her next move in the dark. Maybe she should just call him and cancel tomorrow’s plans. They did not need to start this merry-go-round all over again.

In the darkness, Leo took a deep breath. She was still so amazing, so beautiful. His love for her had not diminished one drop and when she came to him tomorrow night he did not intend to let her go. He could still see her in his mind’s eye, the way her hips swayed when she walked. The way she smiled when he said something beautiful to her. The way she arched her back when he tasted her skin. Oh God, she was…everything.

CJ slowly rubbed her breasts, letting go of her day in a couple of deep breaths. She started to relax under her own touch, sinking deeper into the bed. She closed her eyes and imagined Leo. Circling her nipple until it rose to attention; CJ pinched it.

"Mmm."

Leo’s hand slid down his chest, taking a moment to linger on his bypass scar as she always did. He rubbed his stomach for a few moments, another favorite of CJ’s, before slipping his it into his pajama pants. Gingerly, he touched his semi-hard cock and closed his eyes. He closed his eyes and imagined her.

CJ slid a finger into her mouth and trailed it down her body to her navel. He loved to lick there, and she imagined her finger as his tongue, making circles there. Still caressing her breast with a soft hand, CJ gave into the desire, softly moaning as she slipped a hand into her panties.

"Claudia Jean."

He whispered it really, as his hand slowly moved up his shaft and his thumb rubbed his tip. In his imagination, it was her mouth, hot and hungry for him. Leo grunted, trying to hold on to his yearning…coming too soon would ruin the fantasy. He stayed strong for CJ and he would be strong tonight.

"Oh God!"

Her back arched as she slid a finger across her folds. She purposely avoided her clit, as he always did in the beginning. There was no fun in coming too soon. One finger went inside her and then two…CJ bucked her hips and rode herself. Her eyes fluttered closed and she writhed on the bed.

"Baby, oh CJ."

He was going faster now, unable to stop even though he wanted it to be long. He wanted it to be torturous like it was with her. But it felt so good, and he could see her touching herself too like she had so many times for his pleasure. He could feel her breasts on his thighs, light in weight with skin so soft. She was there with him and he would not let go until she was ready.

Her fingers finally found her clit and CJ purred. Leo liked to rub gently between his thumb and forefinger, first clockwise, then counter clockwise. It was so sexy when he told her what he was doing to her. And she could hear his voice and feel his breath on her sex as she felt the first wave of her zenith. It was like falling in slow motion blackness, as she had in so many years in her dreams. There was no feeling more intense and Leo was one of the few who gave it to her.

"Leo, oh Leo, don’t stop!"

"CJ, baby I love you!"

He came; hard, panting and gasping as the release washed over him like a thunderstorm of everything. All he could do was fall back into the pillows and let it drown him…let her drown him. Leo growled, biting down on his lip to keep from screaming.

"Fuck!"

She came in a rush of warmth she had not felt in years, an awakening to the power of what her body could still feel, and still do. The walls around her crumbled like mud bricks in a rainstorm and CJ surrendered to the cries that came from her soul. As her orgasm subsided, she whispered his name repeatedly, swearing he was there…she could smell him. She could feel him the way he would wrap his arms around her as she whimpered the last of her pleasure.

He couldn’t move for a few moments, and delighted in the euphoric and paralyzing feeling of orgasm. There was no other; she was the only one who could do that to him. She was there in the room, he could hear her breathing. He could see her crawl back to the top of the bed with him; felt her arms slip around him and whisper how much she loved him as his breathing regulated on its own.

"I love you."

"I love you Leo."

He cleaned himself off with the towel and grabbed the cell phone off the nightstand. He had to call her. He had to tell her. Not even sure if her cell phone number was the same, Leo dialed the number by heart. It rang once and he lost his nerve, slamming the phone shut and sticking it the drawer. He couldn’t do it…couldn’t force his feelings and wants on her. She needed to heal and it wasn’t fair to plague her present with memories of her past.

The phone rang and CJ reached over for it. After one ring it stopped. She was going to stick it in the drawer but looked at the display first. Leo. He could not possibly have called her by mistake. She thought for a while, holding the cell phone to her heart, that she should call him back. He had hung up for a reason, hadn’t he? Maybe he wanted her physically but had no desire to go back in the past and try to drudge up something that never was. Sighing, CJ opened the drawer and dropped the phone on top of the Bible.

Saturday night she knocked on the door at 7:52 and took a deep breath. There was no answer so she knocked again. Leo pulled the door open and his greeting died on his lips. CJ was dressed in faded blue jeans and a black lace top resembling a negligee. Her reddish gold hair brushed her shoulders and as she pushed it behind her ears, Leo knew she was nervous.

"Hi." She said.

"Um hey. Sorry, come on in."

CJ brushed past him and walked into the foyer of the penthouse suite. God, it even smelled the same…coffee, cigarettes, and Leo’s cologne. They stood awkwardly for a moment and then Leo smiled.

"Hey." He said again.

"I'm a bit early."

"No, don’t be silly. I ordered dinner about 15 minutes ago so it should be here soon. I got a nice bottle of California Merlot; do you still love red wine?"

"I do."

"Well sit down, get comfortable. I’ll turn this off."

They walked into the living room and Leo turned off CNN. CJ sat on one end of the couch and he sat on the other.

"Is there any truth to the rumors that you will be a political pundit sometime in the near future?" she asked.

"Yes and no. They are asking, but I have turned down every offer. I like having time to myself. That amazes me because I always thought free time would scare the hell out of me. When the semester starts again I am going to have a few speaking engagements."

"What are a few?"

"Nine in the fall and six scheduled for the spring thus far, including the University of Chicago Law School commencement."

"Who is doing your scheduling? Where is Margaret?"

"She is working at the State Department. I made sure she was taken care of as soon as we lost the election. They could use her efficiency around there, even if I miss her more than I thought humanly possible. She has quickly become indispensable to Doug Pierce. God, you look amazing."

"Its jeans and a tee shirt Leo."

"It’s more than that. Well, maybe I haven’t seen you casual in so long I forgot what a sight it is. Tell me how you are."

"Fine."

"No. Come on CJ. Do you want to hear my story?"

She nodded, smiling. Leo and Matt Santos lost the election, though Vinick certainly did not win in a landslide. Santos returned to Congress, deciding he did have more he wanted and could do for the people of Texas. Leo retired to a quiet life at the Watergate with speaking engagements and consulting. Mallory was married for five minutes, just enough time to get pregnant with his grandson Michael. She was divorced before her son learned to walk. He still managed a decent relationship with Jenny, who remarried in the 5th year of the last Administration. He had his family, friends, work, and things were good for him.

"I have been feeling lonely lately; I have to admit that. Since I came home from Vietnam so many decades ago, I have had something to do everyday. It has been a real transition getting used to now having that."

"Are you going to meetings?" CJ asked.

"AA?"

"Yeah."

"Occasionally. A couple of us old guys have them at the OEOB. Honestly, I'm not craving alcohol; I am trying to figure out what’s next."

"Have you ever considered a vacation?"

"Where do you wanna go?" he asked.

CJ rolled her eyes. He could be a real charmer.

"I'm on vacation now. I need to get my ass up and get moving."

Leo was going to respond when dinner arrived. He went to the door and pushed the tray in. CJ turned on the couch to look at him.

"That smells lovely. What is it?"

"Lobster and cheese ravioli in a light cream sauce."

"You can have a light cream sauce without people thinking it’s a suicide attempt?"

CJ could not help but smirk when she said it. Leo laughed.

"That’s right. I am the picture of health Claudia Jean. For a 63 year old man who had a massive heart attack and double bypass surgery, I am a walking miracle."

"You’ve resumed completely normal activities?" she got up from the couch.

"You know that I have always had more energy than men half my age, at everything."

They stared at each other for a moment and CJ felt that her feet were stick to the floor. Her mouth was slightly open and she had to remember how to breathe. Leo reached for her hand; the warmth caused her to exhale. He held out the chair and she sat.

"Quid pro quo. What is going on with you? San Francisco was not as you wanted it to be?"

CJ shook her head, pouring a glass of wine. Leo sipped cranberry juice.

"It didn’t work. Danny and I were happy for a while but I was so unhappy about everything else. I didn’t like the job as I hoped, and I missed the hustle. I felt like the world was passing me by and as much as I wanted to hide from it, I wanted to be in the thick of it. The conflicting feelings led to downward spiral. I pushed Danny away."

"And your child?"

"I lost the baby." She could hardly say it aloud.

That was when she knew it was the end for her and Danny. She pushed him away and lived her life in the dark. Nora rushed to California and stayed for almost a month. If not for her, CJ didn’t know if she would have come out on the other side of that ordeal. Adding to her pain, her father died in a nursing home just a few hours after her miscarriage.

"I heard about your father. I need to apologize to you CJ. Hundreds of times I felt that I needed to call you…I knew something was wrong. I would dial nine digits and then hang up. I just thought that you didn’t want to hear from me. After all we went through I couldn’t bear to cause you more pain. I should have called when your dad died."

"I don’t know if I wanted to hear from you or not." CJ replied with a shrug. "It was a hard time and its over. I'm moving on with my life."

"Why are you really back in DC?" Leo asked.

"Its home. Love it, hate it, or tolerate it. Its home. With daddy gone there is nothing for me in Dayton. I sold the house and am off the proceeds. I always have my savings and the small inheritance he left me. I wanted to be back with my family; the people who loved and understood me no matter what. These three weeks I have been back in town have been the best since the first year I was in California. This is delicious; it used to be my favorite you know."

"I knew. Are you going to find a job and get a place?"

"Yeah. Everyone seemed to know I was coming back, even before I did. There have been offers. The WLC is really courting me…they need someone to run PR for them. I like the idea, but I think I want to be the Congressional liaison much more. I want to get my hands dirty again…I like being in the trenches."

She smiled as she spoke. The more they talked to one another, the lighter CJ felt.

"Is it fair to say I hope you stay?" Leo asked.

"I'm staying Leo. Where and my job are in question but I am staying. I was actually planning on London as my next stop but it seems as if Josh has stolen my passport."

"Josh stole your passport?"

"Mmm hmm. I'm stuck."

"You could make the best of your exile."

"I am open to suggestions."

"I don’t want to be slapped." He wore the sexy crooked grin.

"When have I ever…?"

"Don’t you even say it Claudia Jean. Just off the top of my head, the night of the Democratic National Convention. Do you have any idea how hard it was to walk out on stage smiling after being belted?"

"Belted is a strong word." She replied.

"No." he shook his head. "You slapped the hell out of me. Ask Donna if your memory fails…she saw it."

CJ blushed, dipping her chin.

"I was so scared. All I could think was that they were going to push you; work you so hard that you would have another heart attack. I could not say goodbye to you like that."

"January 21st was easier?" he asked.

"It was the biggest mistake of my life." She replied before her rational mind took over.

_He said ‘how have you been? It’s great to see you again  
You're really a sight for sore eyes’  
I said ‘I can't complain  
Oh I'm doing fine’  
We talked as the people rushed by._

"I doubt that. You want to know the beauty of it?"

"What?"

"You can rectify it. I can rectify my mistakes too."

"What are your mistakes?"

"I haven’t asked you dance yet."

"Leo." She rolled her eyes.

"Claudia Jean. You remember how good we were on the dance floor, right?"

He got up from the table and turned on the stereo. The voice of Billy Joel came across the speakers. Leo took CJ’s hand, pulled her from the chair and held her in his arms. They swayed to the music as she held tight to him.

"I have a recurring dream where we are dancing. It’s a ballroom full of people and everyone is dressed beautifully. You wear the red State of the Union dress…the fifth State of the Union. We’re floating in the dream though we always start with our feet on the ground. You lean to whisper something in my ear but I wake up before I hear what you say."

"I miss you." CJ whispered in his ear.

"I love you." He replied.

The first time in three and half years that she kissed Leo McGarry felt as if they kissed the night before. His lips were still soft and they tasted of cranberries. He still knew exactly what to do with his tongue to make her moan. Their bodies slid together; it was electric as always. The very first time at the Indonesian State Dinner a decade ago and it was still wondrous. How was it possible that so much had changed but he was still the best kisser in the world?

"Claudia Jean, Claudia Jean." He murmured against her skin as his lips trailed down her neck and across the hollow of her throat. They drifted over to the couch, where they could get more comfortably reacquainted.

 _We talked about old times  
And all we’ve been through  
That’s when he hugged me  
And said I've missed you_.

His dress shirt came off first, but CJ knew there was an undershirt beneath it. It didn’t matter if it were fifteen or 150 degrees; Leo McGarry wore a Hanes tee shirt. He shrugged the shirt down his arms and onto the couch. Pulling him closer, CJ wrapped one long leg around his so he couldn’t get away.

"You taste so good baby; I've missed you so much."

CJ moaned as her body reacted to his words. Right now she felt like igniting just from the kissing. He had not even touched her yet. That was getting ready to change.

"No bra?" there was a question in his hazel eyes when he finally caressed her breast on top of her shirt.

"I thought I could pull it off." She replied.

Leo pulled down the shirt, exposing her breast, before taking the hard nipple in his mouth.

"Oh God!"

CJ arched her back as Leo hummed against her skin. She ran her fingers through his hair. She cried out his name as he turned his concentration to the other nipple, this one receiving more attention than its twin did. He was mumbling something and though it was incoherent to the average listener, CJ knew he was saying that he loved her breasts…he always said that. Reluctantly, she pulled away from him and got rid of the shirt altogether. She drew his mouth back to her skin, leaning back on the couch and relishing the attention.

"Should we take this to the bedroom?" he whispered against her earlobe before slipping it between his lips.

CJ took his fingers, sucking on each one of them. Leo moaned into her ear.

"Baby, make a decision. Please, here or the bedroom."

There was more space in the bedroom. It took a while for them to separate, but CJ’s feet hardly touched the ground as she rushed to the bedroom. Leo was right on her heels. Luckily she knew which room it was; if she would have ended up in the closet they would have had no choice but to handle the urges where they stood. Leo stood in the doorway, watching with adoration and lust in his eyes as CJ removed the rest of her clothing. The jeans and a tiny strip of see-through material, which would tonight pass as panties, hit the floor. The thought that somewhere she had a drawer full of those made Leo so dizzy he had to grip the doorframe to remain standing.

"You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." His voice cracked as he said it.

"Make love to me Leo."

She slid back on the bed and for a few moments he just lingered. This had to be a dream…she could not be here again. He could not be having what had to be his 15th chance to get this right. As passionate as they were between the sheets, Leo wanted more now. He thought she did too, but he hadn’t the heart to ask as his erection screamed at him to get his ass onto that bed.

 _And still, the world stood still  
I couldn’t move and all I could feel  
Was this aching in my heart  
Saying I loved him still_.

Leo took off his clothes, the khakis, tee shirt, socks, and boxers. He stood over the bed staring at her. CJ’s eyes trailed from his eyes to his cock. She could not help but smile. Leo winced slightly as her hand caressed him.

"Oh CJ." he sighed.

"I love you so much."

Leo climbed on the bed, his body lingering over hers. CJ spread her thighs and Leo touched her there. She closed her eyes, arching her back.

"Fuck me Leo, please, now."

He slid into her and CJ shivered from the contact.

"Dear God." He breathed hard, starting slow.

"More! More!"

CJ bucked her hips trying to push him along. She lifted her hips, spreading her thighs to feel him press deeper.

"Leo!"

When she cried out, he started to pump harder. He was grunting on top of her as she reached up to caress his face. CJ whimpered as she matched him stroke for stroke.

"I love you CJ, oh God baby, I never stopped! Oh God!"

"Harder! Fuck me harder!"

He could not hold on for much longer, she had to come now or he was going to explode. Leo slipped his hand between them and began to massage her clit.

"Shit! Leo!"

She screeched as she climaxed, and climaxed, and climaxed again. Leo called out her name and collapsed on top of her as his orgasm drained him of everything.

"Mmm, that was so…"

CJ could not even finish as Leo’s mouth took hers and kissed her until he could no longer breathe. Then he lay on top of her, still buried deep inside her, breathing hard. The room was dark and their ragged breaths were the only noises heard. It smelled of mixed flesh, sweat, and Calvin Klein Eternity.

"Don’t move." She said.

"I'm not…I'm never moving again."

CJ laughed a bit, kissing his neck softly as Leo stroked her hair.

"I love you Claudia Jean. I never stopped."

"I know. I…I…"

"Its alright." He pulled out and took her into his arms. "We can talk about it later. We don’t need to discuss it all right now. There are things to work through. Oh, but you should know that I have no intention of letting you leave me again."

"Yeah."

CJ rubbed his stomach and smiled as he moaned at her touch. They fell asleep quickly in each other’s arms; CJ knew she was home.

***

CJ woke the next morning on her stomach. Leo was not in bed as she sat up and looked around the room. The sun shone brightly and she knew it was a lovely day outside. Checking the clock by her head and seeing it was 10:36, CJ got out of bed. She wrapped herself in Leo’s bathrobe and went out into the living room area. She immediately smelled coffee and French toast.

"Good morning."

She walked into the kitchen and Leo smiled at her. He had been wearing the smile since the second she walked in last night.

"What smells so fantastic?" she asked, leaning against the counter and accepting his kisses.

"French toast. There is some Kenyan here; do you want some coffee?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?"

Leo reached up and grabbed a mug from the cabinet. CJ moved behind him, slipping her arms around his waist. He leaned into her, sighing as her hand rubbed the front of his pajamas.

"Don’t start something you can't finish Ms. Cregg. Breakfast is almost ready."

Leo turned around in her arms and kissed her good morning. CJ smiled against his lips, laughing when he pushed her onto the counter.

"You smell so good; you feel so good. I have to have you." He murmured.

Leo went down on his knees, untying the robe and pushing it aside.

"Leo, Leo, what are you doing?"

He spread her legs, lifted one over his shoulder, and pressed his lips to her curls. CJ threw her head back, grimacing as her head banged into the cabinet.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Shh." She pressed the back of his head. "I'm fine, please continue."

Leo laughed a bit, sliding his fingers inside her. CJ let out a long moan as her other hand gripped the counter.

"Rub your breasts baby; that really turns me on."

CJ did as he asked, her hips bucking as he made love to her with his fingers.

"Leo! Uhh…Oh my God!"

She pinched her nipples as his mouth moved to suck her clit gently between his lips.

"Fuck! Never stop, I will kill you if you stop."

CJ banged a fist on the counter just as the smoke alarm began to shrill. Leo didn’t even look up from what he was doing. She crashed into her orgasm; he tasted her all over his lips.

"The Secret Service is going to burst in." she groaned.

"We don’t have to worry about them anymore." Leo murmured against her skin.

He pressed her clit once more and she came again, shouting as he scaled her body and kissed her. They didn’t want to separate but Leo had to turn off the French toast, drop the offensive pan in some water, and dismantle the alarm. CJ just stood there, slumped against the counter trying to regain the use of her lungs and legs. After he managed to get rid of most of the smoke, Leo stood and watched her from the doorway.

"Need a little help there baby?" he asked.

"I’ll be alright in a minute or so. But I think we may have to order some room service."

Leo laughed and CJ felt it in her belly. She smiled.

"I think we should shower and then have breakfast out."

"It’s your favorite meal to have out." CJ replied.

"Exactly. I’m going to…"

"Leo?"

"Hmm?"

"Um, I'm going to need a little help here. You think you can help me into the bedroom."

He laughed again, going over and slipping his arm around her waist. CJ leaned on him, grabbing her coffee mug as they walked out of the room.

***

They sat in the Georgetown Diner people watching as CJ tore into her pancakes. Leo just watched her with a smile on his face as his egg white omelet and hash browns cooled.

"God, I missed it here. I'm telling you, San Francisco just does not have this kind of food. Everyone is trying so hard to stay thin…pancakes are an oddity."

"You could always make your own." He replied.

"What? Yeah, I could if I wanted to burn down my condo."

"So your cooking skills are still sub-par?"

"Hey, sub-par is kind of cruel. I like to eat out anyway."

"Yeah baby, me too."

CJ blushed and smiled.

"Shut up."

He laughed, reaching across the table to stroke her hand. She looked at him and just sighed.

"What?" he asked.

"How much time did we waste with…?"

"It doesn’t matter. We are here now and we know what we have to do. Don’t worry CJ; I have a feeling everything is going to fall into place."

"So we make love and it just rights itself?"

"It’s more than that. We love each other and know that some things are worth fighting for tooth and nail. The Bartlet Administration is over and I am never going to let anything come before you again."

"OK."

It could not possibly be this easy, could it? Still CJ knew she was not going to run again. She couldn’t run anymore. Leo cleared his throat and she looked up at him.

"What is it? Hey, do you have any cigarettes. After all that good loving and pancakes, I definitely need a chaser."

Leo pulled a cigarette case from his inside pocket and CJ took a cigarette. He lit it for her and she inhaled deeply.

"Claudia Jean?"

"Hmm?"

"Will you marry me?"

"I'm sorry?"

He was holding a ring box and CJ just stared at the blinding light coming off the three-carat diamond. She turned away from it.

"Where the hell…Leo this is…Jesus."

"Will you marry me CJ?"

"OK, I know you are a powerful man, but we’ve been back together for less than 24 hours. Where did you get the ring? It is beautiful but…"

"I've had it for three and half years. I bought it Christmas Eve 2005…the moment I saw it I knew it was for you. I planned to propose the day the President left office."

"The day I left you." CJ whispered.

"Yeah."

"Leo…"

"I don’t care anymore. I know why you left and I know why you came back. The both of us are too old to play the games we played for so long. While the thought of living in absolute sin with you for all eternity is a pleasing one, I want you to be my wife. I want to take care of you, love you, and be with you for the rest of my life. I want to be the father of your child."

CJ opened her mouth to reply but all that came out was a squeak. She felt the tears wet her face and found she could not look into his eyes. There was so much hope there; hope for the future that they almost never had.

"I have to…I'm going to…excuse me for a moment."

She rushed to the ladies room and Leo stood as she left the table. He sat again, waving to the server for another coffee.

"Did you find the food unsatisfactory Mr. McGarry?" he asked.

"What?" Leo looked down at his plate. "Oh no, everything is fine. I guess I was not as hungry as I originally thought. Thanks."

The server nodded, and walked away from the table. CJ returned and Leo stood again. She slid into the booth.

"I'm sorry about that, I just needed a moment."

"I understand."

"We can't live at the Watergate." She said.

"No, we can't. We’ll buy a house, anywhere you want. Georgetown, Woodley Park, hell Chevy Chase, St. George’s County, even Bethesda."

"Um, a house is a good start. Maybe somewhere with good schools?"

"Yeah." His smile lit up his entire face. "I don’t want to be a pain in the ass here but you haven’t answered my initial question. Will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course. I can't believe you still want me."

"I always wanted you, from the very first time I saw you. I love you. Damn, you have me making the un-manliest statements in the history of recorded statements. Do you see what you do to me?"

CJ laughed. He took her hand, sliding the ring onto her finger. She looked down at it and started to cry again.

"It’s amazing. I'm going to be Mrs. Leo McGarry. I have to call Nora and Toby…we have to call everyone."

"There’s time. How about just you and me today?"

"Yeah."

She leaned across the table and kissed him softly. They were both going to have another chance and there was no way they would not make the best of it. It was meant to be and it would be. There was no place like home.

***


End file.
